Are you worried about following the mom/wife rules? What will happen if you actually get the help that you need? How can you make your life a little bit more manageable?
In this podcast episode, I share 5 steps to find balance & sanity in the midst of chaos.
In This Podcast
- Following all of the rules
- Getting a kick in the a**
- Asking for help
- 5 steps to help you find balance in the midst of chaos
Following all of the rules
I remember when I was in grad school, my husband was deployed, I had a house full of kids and I was trying to figure out how I was going to get it all done. I had to write a paper, do the dishes, get the kids to bed, clean the house…it was impossible but I had to get it done. I had this idea of what my life should look like and there were rules that I had to follow.
If I wasn’t following the rules then I wasn’t mom’ming and being a wife right. I put myself in a box and did what I thought I was supposed to do. My friend told me that I need to get a house cleaner and I thought there’s no way! I’m Mexican and we take a great deal of pride in how we clean our house. How dare she ask me to ask someone to clean up my own house? That was NOT going to happen.
Getting a kick in the a**
I thought about what my friend said and why she had recommended that I get a house cleaner. I didn’t have it all together, I wasn’t better than anyone else, I was miserable. I was under the assumption that everything in my life was going well but that was a lie. If I hired someone or asked for help then I would be admitting that I didn’t have it all together, I would be admitting that I wasn’t Superwoman. I realized that this was a problem; I didn’t have time for my family, I was tired, I wasn’t present, I had too much on my plate.
Asking for help
Somebody else is going to see my mess. Somebody else is going to see that I don’t have it all together. My life is now open to possible judgment and criticism.
I hired a house cleaner and I wish I could say that right away my life changed for the better but that’s not true. I would literally get the house ready for the cleaning crew the night before by doing all of the cleaning myself anyway. I realized I was doing it again. If I was going to ask for help then I needed to allow myself to actually get the help and let somebody else see my mess.
Yolanda cleaning my house gave me the gift and ability to spend time with my family. By asking for help, I realized that I now had time for other things. I started to ask for help with other small things and it became so gratifying.
5 steps to help you find balance in the midst of chaos
If you’re looking for perfection, it’s not going to happen. Find out what your balance is. It’s different from everyone else’s and that’s absolutely okay. You get to define it.
1. Look at your life right now
What are you happy with and what do you need help with? I realized that balance, for me, was making my life a little bit more manageable.
2. Ask for help
Share the responsibilities that can be shared. Just because you’re asking for help does not mean that you’re a failure. You get to define what having it all together means for you and your family. Do what you need to do for you, your family will thank you for it.
3. Take time for yourself
When is the last time you did something just for you? When I’m able to connect with myself, I am so much more connected, invested, and appreciative of my family.
4. Be present in the moment
Shift your perspective. How can you be present and mindful? Mindfulness is being present on purpose, you’re not multitasking by any means.
5. What are you doing right now to live the life you want to live
I’m getting comfortable with the uncomfortable because five years from now, I want to have accomplished my goals and set new ones. I want to become so familiar with fear and failure that they no longer stop me from pursuing the life I want to live.
If you’re attempting to do everything perfectly then you are going to be unbalanced. However, if you find that you’re content with certain things and you can let go of certain tasks, then that is what you have now defined as your balance. Break it down and simplify it because that is going to make your life so much easier.
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Meet Veronica Cisneros
I’m a licensed therapist and women walk into my office every day stressed and disconnected. As a mom of three daughters, I want my girls to know who they are and feel confident about their future. I can’t think of a better way to help other women than by demonstrating an empowered and unapologetic life.
So I started Empowered and Unapologetic to be a safe space for women to be vulnerable and change their lives for the better before she ever needs to see a therapist. Whether you listen to the podcast, join the free Facebook community, join the VIP community, or attend our annual retreat, you’re in the right place. Let’s do this together!
Thanks for listening!
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Empowered and Unapologetic is part of the Practice of the Practice Podcast Network, a network of podcasts seeking to help you thrive, imperfectly. To hear other podcasts like the Bomb Mom Podcast, Imperfect Thriving, or Beta Male Revolution, go to practiceofthepractice.com/network.