How often in your marriage do you find yourself keeping score? Does it feel like you and your partner have lost your friendship? You are at the point in your marriage where you don’t even know what’s the use of trying…why even bother, right? Does it feel like you and your partner have forgotten the value of your relationship? Sound familiar?

Well Mama, in this podcast episode, I am going to talk all about keeping score and how to work through the resentment that is holding you back from really reconnecting with your Husband. Grab a pen and paper because I will be asking you questions along the way.

In This Podcast


  • Try to pinpoint the change
  • Remember the friendship
  • Recommit to working together

Try to pinpoint the change

Resentment is often characterized as the negative emotions one feels at having been mistreated.

Luckily, resentment is something that you can work through in your marriage with your partner.

Think about where things started to shift. When did things start to change in your marriage? After the kids were born, or after you started working, or after he got a new job? When did you and your partner stop being friends?

I want you to think of memories of when you guys were the best of friends. Fast forward and think when you started to lose then … and think about maybe when you stopped being his best friend? (Veronica Cisneros)

Have you and your partner stopped supporting one another? What is when the resentment begins to build, because that is when you start to keep score.

Remember the friendship

One of the core aspects of a successful marriage is having a friendship with your partner. It is near impossible to heal a marriage by communication alone when the friendship is not being mended because that connection suffers under resentment.

When you feel resentment towards your partner, you see them as the problem and the root of the issues, instead of viewing them as your friend with whom you need to solve the issue.

The real key, the true key to building a healthy foundation and to regaining value after constant arguing is vulnerability. Both parties need to be open to vulnerability. Both parties need to be willing to trust their partner. (Veronica Cisneros)

Recommit to working together

Resentment cannot be created by only one person. Unfortunately, if there are mutual feelings of discomfort and resentment, then the chances are that you may also have had a small contribution.

Be accountable and honest with yourself about how you may be contributing to the situation.

If you can acknowledge that you have a place in this – you’re not 100% to blame, but you do have a place in this – then there’s something you can do differently. (Veronica Cisneros)

The feelings of pain and frustration could be blinding you from truly working on the marriage with your partner.

Both parties need to be open, honest, vulnerable, and understanding for healing to work. Divorce often occurs when both people stop realizing the value of the relationship.

Work on yourself and you will see the relationship change.

 It is not your partner that is the enemy, it is the issue that is in between your relationship that you are both guilty for. (Veronica Cisneros)

Useful links:

Meet Veronica Cisneros

Veronica Cisneros | Empowered And Unapologetic Podcast

Hello, my name is Veronica Cisneros, I am a licensed marriage and family therapist for over 7 years, a Group Private Practice owner, a Mother of 3, and married for over 20 years. I help housewives transform their marriage, communicate effectively and build confidence. Like you, I also struggled with cutting through the communication barriers. I felt like there was no reason for my husband and I to feel unhappy because we had it all. We just felt disconnected and our conversations were filled with avoidance, kids’ hobbies, and schedules. 

I’ve helped plenty of couples in my private practice who struggled with similar issues. With my proven strategies and step-by-step skills, I’ve helped hundreds of women reignite their marriages. I am known for helping women step outside of their comfort zones, I don’t do bandaids, I only teach life-changing healing methods.

Whether you listen to the podcast, join the free Facebook community, or join our ‘Reconnect with your Husband’ Workshop,  you’re in the right place. Let’s do this together!

Thanks for listening!

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