“Why is it that men think that they’re able to come home and totally check out? How can I get my Husband to help more around the house? How can I get my Husband to communicate more?” Does this sound familiar?

Is your husband “clocking out”? What is the story inside of your head that you are telling yourself to explain your partner’s behavior? What lies beneath these feelings of anger and uncertainty?

In this podcast episode, I share a personal story as well as walk you through why your Husband gets to clock out and you don’t. Grab your pen and paper ladies, I give you some homework in this episode.

In This Podcast


  • What is it that triggers you?
  • What are you hearing your partner say?
  • Pay attention to how you are talking
  • Think back to your first example

What is it that triggers you?

What is it exactly that triggers you the most about your husband clocking out? (Veronica Cisneros)

What about your husband’s behavior is triggering you? Think about your mindset and the narrative that you are telling yourself.

Which of your insecurities is his behavior exposing in you when he behaves this way?

What are you hearing your partner say?

Even though someone can explain something to you, you may hear it completely differently than how they intended it to sound.

I didn’t realize how wrong I was but those were the stories that I was building up in my head. (Veronica Cisneros)

Your (and your partner’s) emotional states can shift the way that you interpret someone’s words. Think about that, could you be hearing a different meaning in their words to the one that they are actually intending to put across?

Pay attention to how you are talking

Be mindful of how you are phrasing the situation in your mind. If you go into “all or nothing” thinking by using words like “never” and “always”, then you – and your partner – need to pull yourselves back.

You both need to pay attention to your words, your actions, and behaviors. How are you both a part of this issue?

If all of these things are happening, there may already be built-up resentment. You both are probably feeling like you’re being treated unfairly. (Veronica Cisneros)

Think back to your first example

Consider your parent’s marriage:

  • What did it look like?
  • Which roles did your parents play in their marriage?
  • Have you made assumptions about life in general from these examples that you experienced?

Position your partner as your partner, not the enemy.

The real issue is not that he gets to clock out whenever he wants. The issue is that you are choosing not to. You are choosing not to set boundaries, you are choosing not to put yourself first. (Veronica Cisneros)

Make time and space for yourself. Make a list of hobbies that you want to do, and a list of what could stop you, and address each point.

Remember that you can give yourself permission to go ahead and do the things that you enjoy. You can bring yourself true joy.

Useful links:

Meet Veronica Cisneros

Veronica Cisneros | Empowered And Unapologetic Podcast

Hello, my name is Veronica Cisneros, I am a licensed marriage and family therapist for over 7 years, a Group Private Practice owner, a Mother of 3, and married for over 20 years. I help housewives transform their marriage, communicate effectively and build confidence. Like you, I also struggled with cutting through the communication barriers. I felt like there was no reason for my husband and me to feel unhappy because we had it all. We just felt disconnected and our conversations were filled with avoidance, kids’ hobbies, and schedules. 

I’ve helped plenty of couples in my private practice who struggled with similar issues. With my proven strategies and step-by-step skills, I’ve helped hundreds of women reignite their marriages. I am known for helping women step outside of their comfort zones, I don’t do bandaids, I only teach life-changing healing methods.

Whether you listen to the podcast, join the free Facebook community, or join our ‘Reconnect with your Husband’ Workshop,  you’re in the right place. Let’s do this together!

Thanks for listening!

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