Do you struggle to feel sexually connected with your partner? Is your insecurity getting in the way of you being physically intimate? Do you find yourself only wanting to have sex when it’s dark and the lights are off?

In this podcast episode, Willie and I share our own struggles and stories about intimacy. We give advice to couples who are struggling with feeling comfortable with physical intimacy.

In This Podcast


  • For most men, affection is physical
  • “I don’t see what you see”
  • Listen to understand

For most men, affection is physical

In Willie’s words, for most men, affection, and connection are found in being “physical” with your partner, and this can mean through things like sex, embraces, kisses, or any type of intimate physical contact.

It’s a little bit of communication,but it’s also physical contact too. A lot of it has to do with the physical contact because, as I said, we want to have that physical contact with you and for you to have that with us as well. (Willie Cisneros)

Men like to show affection and connection through physical contact and they like to feel loved and receive affection through physical contact as well.

“I don’t see what you see”

People are often their worst critics. If you are constantly critiquing yourself or putting yourself down over how you look, then you may be suffering from negative body image. Remember that the version of yourself that you see in the mirror if you perhaps struggle with poor body image issues is not the real you.

For me, I don’t see what you see, and it takes me some time to go back and say, “Wait a minute, I may have gained weight, and it still doesn’t take away my beauty.” (Veronica Cisneros)

Your partner, and everyone else, see you differently.

Work on yourself. Work on loving and accepting yourself, and the belief that you have intrinsic value and beauty that is not influenced or defined by the external.

Listen to understand

If your partner tells you that they are attracted to you, and want to connect with you, they are almost certainly telling the truth.

Do not let a voice of insecurity try to persuade you that they are being dishonest.

She can look at it as, “Okay, I need to look into how I am affecting this relationship because despite how I feel about myself, my husband does appreciate and love every bit of me and he finds me sexy no matter how I feel.” (Willie Cisneros)

Your loved ones see every piece of you and appreciate all of it, your partner especially. They see the deeper version of you, past the external, and want to connect with who you are.

Realize that your partner is accepting you, even if you are still working on yourself. (Veronica Cisneros)

To the husbands and partners, do not lose hope, be patient, and do not take it personally.

Be understanding of her journey, and continue to support her while she works through some of her insecurities.

Useful links:

Meet Veronica Cisneros

Veronica Cisneros | Empowered And Unapologetic Podcast

Hello, my name is Veronica Cisneros, I am a licensed marriage and family therapist for over 7 years, a Group Private Practice owner, a Mother of 3, and married for over 20 years. I help housewives transform their marriage, communicate effectively and build confidence. Like you, I also struggled with cutting through the communication barriers. I felt like there was no reason for my husband and me to feel unhappy because we had it all. We just felt disconnected and our conversations were filled with avoidance, kids’ hobbies, and schedules. 

I’ve helped plenty of couples in my private practice who struggled with similar issues. With my proven strategies and step-by-step skills, I’ve helped hundreds of women reignite their marriages. I am known for helping women step outside of their comfort zones, I don’t do bandaids, I only teach life-changing healing methods.

Whether you listen to the podcast, join the free Facebook community, or join our ‘Reconnect with your Husband’ Workshop,  you’re in the right place. Let’s do this together!

Thanks for listening!

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