Do you feel frustrated with your partner not accessing their potential? Are you making excuses for your partner – and for yourself? What is actually holding you back from your transformation? In today’s podcast, we are joined by Kute Blackson. Kute is an inspirational speaker and transformational teacher. On this podcast, we talk all about ‘How do I get my Husband to change’.

Meet Kute Blackson

Kute Blackson, transformational speaker and national best-selling author of You.Are.The.One. and his new book, The Magic of Surrender, published by Penguin Random House.

Kute has been recognized as the “Mindfulness guru that billionaires go to for advice” by Inc Magazine.

Kute Blackson offers a fresh, bold look at spiritual awareness for a whole new generation. Born in Ghana, West Africa, Kute’s multicultural upbringing as the child of a Japanese mother and a Ghanaian father has spanned four different continents. His unique lineage lay the foundation for his approach to breaking down barriers and unlocking an individual’s true gifts and greatness.

Connect with Kute on the website, YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

In This Podcast


  • What keeps you back from accessing your transformation?
  • What are you pretending not to know?
  • Identify the red flags
  • How do I get my husband to change?

What keeps you back from accessing your transformation?

I’ve worked with thousands of people from all walks of life and I’ve seen that one of the things that stop us from truly transforming are all the ways that we lie to ourselves. (Kute Blackson)

You might be one of the biggest things that are holding you back from experiencing the life that you want to live. How? Because you might be lying to yourself. From childhood, people learn to make themselves appealing and pleasing to those around them because they want to be loved and accepted by the community. However, they often abandon their true selves to feel this sense of acceptance.

We are constantly lying to ourselves about who we are and what we want because the fear is … “if you know who I really am then maybe you won’t love me”. We’re conditioned from childhood to pretend to be people who we are not to get love, validation, and approval from parents and those around us in the world. (Kute Blackson)

The only way that you can transform your life is to be truly yourself and to step into your authenticity. Then people will see you for you, and those that leave were not meant for you, and those that love you and accept you are your real community. So, what keeps you back from experiencing this is the lies that you tell yourself.

The ego plays a self-protective game of confusion of, “I don’t really know what to do, I don’t really know if this relationship is right, or I don’t really know what my purpose is” … deep down, we know it. We’re just afraid, and we’re kind of playing this game of confusion. (Kute Blackson)

Take the pressure off of yourself and just sit with the simple but genuine truth. Then, you open yourself up to change, and your inevitable transformation.

What are you pretending not to know?

Sit with the truth that you are running away from. You do not have to take action right away, but just sit with it, and be present with yourself in that honesty.

The truth is what sets us free. So, what lies are you telling yourself? What lies are you pretending to not know? What is it costing you? (Kute Blackson)

You might be keeping yourself stuck by pretending not to notice the pain you feel. This could be emotional pain, spiritual suffering, or anything else. This is a signal that something in your life is not in alignment. Sit with the truth. It’s simple, but it’s not easy – although, that transformation is fully possible and available to you once you allow it to be.

Identify the red flags

How do you even begin to understand the layers of your life? How would you even start to look for the potential red flags that can show you where – in your life – you need to give your attention to? The first red flag that you need to look out for is realizing that you have everything you thought you wanted, and you’re still feeling depressed, unfulfilled, or lost. The second red flag is when you notice that you are continuously attracting the same type of situations, relationships, and people into your life over and over again, even when you say you don’t want them.

You could keep pointing the finger out there at the world, and those people and those situations, but at some point, you start seeing that the common denominator is you. At some point, you start to see that the only way to shift your experience and attract something different is to shift yourself, to heal yourself, to transform yourself. (Kute Blackson)

Meet these answers – these parts of yourself – with loving understanding.

How do I get my husband to change?

1 – Stop trying to change your husband. Your job is not to change your husband, it is to change yourself.

Relationship is a mirror. In a relationship, you attract to you … you attract to you a man, a person that really is a mirror manifestation of your consciousness in that particular moment in time. (Kute Blackson)

The mirror doesn’t lie! The person that you are in a relationship with is a manifestation of your relationship with yourself because they reflect parts of yourself that you most need to heal.

Ask yourself: do you like what you see? If the answer’s, “Kind of, sort of … well, no,” don’t argue with the mirror. Don’t blame, and don’t point the finger. Most of us try to change the mirror and the reflection. (Kute Blackson)

2 – Take responsibility – fully – for yourself, for your reflection, for transforming and changing yourself. 3 – Ask yourself: what is my husband reflecting me about myself? You attracted this partner for a reason. What is your soul seeking to learn?

Don’t tell your man what to do. Don’t direct him on what to do. Instead, you heal yourself, transform, and become as an expanded and inspiring and feminine being you can, and that will hopefully inspire him to rise up and give in to his potential … if he loves you, if he’s sensible, he’ll realize, “Wow, if I want this to work, I need to up my game.” (Kute Blackson)

Books mentioned:

Kute Blackson – The Magic of Surrender: Finding the Courage to Let GoKute Blackson – You Are the One: A Bold Adventure in Finding Purpose, Discovering the Real You, and Loving Fully

Useful links:

Meet Veronica Cisneros

Veronica Cisneros | Empowered And Unapologetic Podcast Hello, my name is Veronica Cisneros, I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Marriage Coach, Course Creator, Retreat Host, Mother of 3, married for 23 years, host of the Empowered and Unapologetic podcast, and owner of a group private practice called Outside The Norm Counseling. A lot of couples struggle with setting aside intentional time to connect and communicate. They yearn for meaningful conversations that don’t lead to arguments. 1 month away from divorce, I realized I had to do something different. For years I had compromised myself to meet the needs of my husband and my child, I lost myself and was about to lose my marriage. After years of personal growth and self-reflection, I not only reclaimed my identity, and celebrated 23 years of marriage but also helped hundreds of couples transform their marriage from feeling like roommates to experiencing a deeper love. I am on a mission to help couples reignite the fire by providing them with the skills to have the relationship they deserve. Whether you listen to the podcast, join the free Facebook community, or join our Workshop,  you’re in the right place. Let’s do this together!

Thanks for listening!

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