Do you have that one family member that you dread having to invite to Thanksgiving? Are there ways around this? How can you navigate this tumultuous situation in the best way possible, while sticking to your boundaries?
In this podcast episode, Veronica Cisneros speaks about how to survive Thanksgiving with difficult family members.
In This Podcast
- It’s time to have an uncomfortable conversation
- You do not have to invite them
- Set a boundary
- Call for backup
- Acknowledge that you have zero control over others
1. It’s time to have an uncomfortable conversation
Call them prior to inviting them, have an idea of what you want to say and practice saying it as you would over the phone. What is your intention? Do not try to change them. What is the ultimate goal, what do you want them to know?
If the problem is the vibe they give off, engage them in sincere conversation and enquire about what is going on for them. Listen to understand instead of becoming combative. This is the first step to changing how your holidays look and play out.
If they hang up, let it be. Your job is not to fix people.
2. You do not have to invite them
You really do not have to. Everyone notices you are not happy, it is already out there. Imagine enjoying the celebration without skirting around someone, imagine your home filled with joy and peace. You are in charge of who is and is not invited to your house.
3. Set a boundary
Boundaries are how we tell others how to behave around us, what we are okay with, and what we are not okay with. Make a list of things that you are not okay with, and work to set that boundary around those things. Write down house rules for your guests before they arrive, and make sure that they know what they are because no one can read minds, you need to communicate your boundaries.
4. Call for backup
Bring your spouse on board to help you navigate rough holiday waters, decide who is going to handle the situation if it gets out of hand. Have a game plan in place so that you and your spouse know how to handle the situation in case anything crazy happens.
5. Acknowledge that you have zero control over others
You have no control over how others act, the only person’s actions that you can control are your own. Notice how this person reacts; do they over-or underreact to tough situations? And also self-reflect on your own behavior: how are you in times of conflict?
The choice is yours because you get to decide whether you enjoy this holiday or not.
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Meet Veronica Cisneros
I’m a licensed therapist and women walk into my office every day stressed and disconnected. As a mom of three daughters, I want my girls to know who they are and feel confident about their future. I can’t think of a better way to help other women than by demonstrating an empowered and unapologetic life.
So I started Empowered and Unapologetic to be a safe space for women to be vulnerable and change their lives for the better before she ever needs to see a therapist.
Thanks for listening!
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Empowered and Unapologetic is part of the Practice of the Practice Podcast Network, a network of podcasts seeking to help you thrive, imperfectly. To hear other podcasts like the Bomb Mom Podcast, Imperfect Thriving, or Beta Male Revolution, go to practiceofthepractice.com/network.