What happens when someone in the relationship becomes “too comfortable”? How does tough love towards your partner actually encourage growth more than you trying to fix the problem? Can focusing on yourself inspire your partner to do the same?

In this podcast episode, Veronica Cisneros speaks with her husband Willie about how to stop wrestling with the change in your marriage

In This Podcast


  • Comfort can harm the relationship
  • Give space and have trust

Comfort can harm the relationship

I think in a relationship we desire that security … of having that comfort, but I think that’s also the thing that oftentimes leads to the demise of the relationship, where comfort becomes the thing that kills the relationship because we get too comfortable, and that comfort leads to complacency. (Willie Cisneros)

When both parties become too comfortable in their relationship, with one another or with themselves, they can stagnate in their growth or pursuit of their goals.

However, when one person is inspired to get going again, they can feel left behind or pulled down by the other partner who still enjoys the level of comfort that keeps them stuck in the same patterns or habits.

Give space and have trust

It can be the hardest thing to do, to leave your partner is a tough space to be in, and trust that they will pull themselves out of it. Of course, you can help where necessary but it is important for them to get themselves out of that place too.

If a person in a relationship is doing everything for their partner who is in the rut, trying to change them, trying to fix, repair, make right or shift the relationship to constantly best suit their partner, that will only build resentment and breaks self-authenticity for both parties.

You can’t motivate anyone to do anything that they don’t want to do, but you can for damn sure inspire them by being the change you want to see in your relationship. (Veronica Cisneros)

Sometimes, the best thing we can do for the other person is to fully focus on ourselves. When we invest time, energy, and resources into bettering ourselves, into independent growth and learning, that type of action is recognized by our partners and they are inspired to pick themselves up by the bootstraps too.


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Meet Veronica Cisneros

Veronica Cisneros | Empowered And Unapologetic PodcastI’m a licensed therapist and women walk into my office every day stressed and disconnected. As a mom of three daughters, I want my girls to know who they are and feel confident about their future. I can’t think of a better way to help other women than by demonstrating an empowered and unapologetic life.

So I started  Empowered and Unapologetic to be a safe space for women to be vulnerable and change their lives for the better before she ever needs to see a therapist.

Whether you listen to the podcast, join the free Facebook communityjoin the VIP community, or attend our annual retreat,  you’re in the right place. Let’s do this together!

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Empowered and Unapologetic is part of the Practice of the Practice Podcast Network, a network of podcasts seeking to help you thrive, imperfectly. To hear other podcasts like the Bomb Mom Podcast, Imperfect Thriving, or Beta Male Revolution, go to practiceofthepractice.com/network.