At age 5 Mia Hewett experienced her first trauma – which she blamed on herself. That day her life changed forever. It was when she realized that she couldn’t trust anyone (not even her father) and that the world was a really scary place. She vowed never to put herself in a position like that again.
This resulted in walls built with glass ceilings and being held back from success in her business and personal life. It was only in her early 40s when Mia finally figured out that trauma was thing holding her back, stopping her from reaching her potential, and the reason behind her problems she was having in her business.
Mia now is here today to share her story and help you overcome your trauma, so that it doesn’t hold you back in the way it held her back for all those years.
Meet Mia Hewett
Today’s guest, Mia Hewett, is the Founder and CEO of Aligned Intelligence®, the best-selling author of Meant For More, and an expert on the topic of human potential. Mia helps entrepreneurs and aspiring entrepreneurs who know they are “Meant for More” stop secretly struggling and make six and seven-figure leaps in their business using her Aligned Intelligence Method®. This methodology works consistently and predictably to allow her clients the ability to coach themselves through any obstacle, build their dream businesses, and feel fulfilled in their purposes. Mia is passionate about empowering purpose-driven entrepreneurs to live the lives they have always known they were meant to be living.
Read Mia’s book for FREE by using the password “Freebook” on the landing page.
In This Podcast
- What is trauma and how does it happen?
- Trauma and ego
- Vulnerability and freedom
- Trauma and business
- Tips for success after trauma
What is trauma and how does it happen?
Every single human being has experienced a trauma – even those who don’t think that they have.
Not one baby is born with a self-esteem issue. Not one. So there was a harmony to you. You totally trusted yourself. You trusted others and you trusted life. And there was this feeling of complete harmony and connection to everything and everyone. And then something happened. So I see the most amount of traumas around two years old. (Mia)
What is trauma?
The child grows by an emotional bond of trust, and when that bond is broken we experience an emotional trauma. (Mia)
Our subconscious always remembers our emotional trauma, even though we don’t always remember it ourselves. However, it’s a bit like Google, where if we ask our subconscious the right questions, out comes the information.
Trauma affects how we handle experiences. We take on experiences we would normally go into trusting, but in that particular one where there’s been trauma we get stuck. We then often feel confused, realising that something is very wrong, we then think that it is all our own fault. This is why it’s considered part of the ‘feeling mind,’ it’s not logical.
Trauma and ego
When that experience happened it was so traumatic for each one of us that we pulled back within ourselves. We separated from the truth of who we really are. That fullness of who we really are. And then that’s the day that we created our ego. (Mia)
The 2 types of ego involved with trauma:
- Superiority Ego (main type of driver) – rebellious, they’re the challengers (attack)
- Inferiority Ego – avoidance, hold back, hide (withdraw)
These 2 egos are like a survival mechanism and there is no right or wrong one, but it’s important to note that we all have both inside of us.
From the day that our first trauma happens, every negative experience just becomes a bigger deeper version of the same trauma, and will continue happening until we heal it. We then come back home to who we were prior to the experience.
That negative voice / inner critic (our ego) is a symptom of the underlying root cause. The cause is emotional. Why we struggle is because prior to the age of 7, we only have the feeling mind (subconscious emotional mind), but then we grow up and mature our logical mind. We know what to do logically, but we just can’t seem to do it emotionally. We move between the two parts and it becomes a vicious feeling, where we get fragmented inside ourselves.
We’re so afraid to be shamed or experience those feelings we felt whenever our first trauma happened, that it becomes what’s running in the back of our minds 24/7. (Mia)
Vulnerability and freedom
I was living my whole life in fear, but then it hit me that we’re all going to die. In the time and space that we’re living in and with this in mind, one has to realise that there is no such thing as living without risk.
The illusion is that you can protect yourself from all this risk, which you can’t. (Mia)
We have to start understanding that because of the trauma, we view vulnerability as something wrong. This is a misconception. We then don’t want to be ‘weak’ again, and this keeps us trapped, because the more we remain behind those walls, the more we imprison ourselves. However, everyone else is not in prison – you are with your own walls.
…in truth, vulnerability is our greatest power. (Mia)
We need to process our own trauma and ask the following:
- What’s the truth?
- What’s the lie?
Once we’ve done that we need to share our stories, thoughts and traumas and break down the walls. For any negative experience to be there it contains a lie, we have to find the lie and realise that it is a lie and not the truth. We have to clear these misunderstandings and misconceptions.
When we process our emotions and our traumas, we get to keep all the strengths and let go of all the weakness from it. (Mia)
To make sense of trauma, we have to take some sort of risk and be vulnerable. With risk involved, how do we take that next step?
You get to choose whether or not to give somebody permission to go ahead and take it over and to live your life for you, or direct you, or control you. Or you get to go out and pull back the reins and say, “no it’s my turn” (Veronica)
What is Freedom?
Freedom is about non-attachment, non-judgment, non-resistance. Suffering occurs when we want something to be different than how it occurs in reality. Reality is that we are all dying – nobody gets outta here alive, but perception is somehow we can outskirt that.
When we’re at peace with reality, we’re freed from the concern of it, because it’s no longer running in the back of our minds. When we heal from trauma we then understand how to use our minds as the tools they were designed for.
Trauma and business
The mind was never designed to be the master. It was always meant to be the servant. (Mia)
The Universal Law of Plurality states that everything exists in whole, therefore, for ‘up’ to exist, ‘down’ must be believed. Similarly, our mind can build us up, but it can also tear us down. One cannot exist without the other at the same moment in time. For a problem to exist, equally in time a solution must exist too. The key is understanding that both parts exist (acceptance). It’s not about making something wrong, but more about understanding that this is reality.
You can’t focus on the unwanted and get wanted. (Mia)
It doesn’t matter what type of business you’re in, or the vehicle that you’re using to do business. The truth is, everyone in business is in the relationship game. Therefore, we need to understand ourselves first before we can understand the grame that we’re in (the relationship game). If we’re holding onto trauma we cannot apply the right kind of strategy and be fully free, which then allows for success.
Tips for success after trauma
- It’s not about how much money you make, it’s about how much you get to keep
- Success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure. I encourage you to start with the life you want to live and then choose the business model (vehicle) that will give it to you
- Stand firm with causes and charities that resonate with you
- Aim high set goals and then work backwards and create ways to reach it from there so that we know exactly what we’re doing and have purpose. Not just dream it, actually do it.
- Use your voice and ask for what you want
- Mia Hewett Website
- Read Mia’s book for FREE by using the password “Freebook”
- Download your FREE workbook HERE – THE 5 MISTAKES TO AVOID FOR A HEALTHY MARRIAGE: TIPS FROM A THERAPIST
- Sign up for the VIP membership
- Join Our Girl Gang
- Empowered And Unapologetic Free Course
Meet Veronica Cisneros
I’m a licensed therapist and women walk into my office every day stressed and disconnected. As a mom of three daughters, I want my girls to know who they are and feel confident about their future. I can’t think of a better way to help other women than by demonstrating an empowered and unapologetic life.
So I started Empowered and Unapologetic to be a safe space for women to be vulnerable and change their lives for the better before she ever needs to see a therapist.
Thanks for listening!
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Empowered and Unapologetic is part of the Practice of the Practice Podcast Network, a network of podcasts seeking to help you thrive, imperfectly. To hear other podcasts like the Bomb Mom Podcast, Imperfect Thriving, or Beta Male Revolution, go to practiceofthepractice.com/network.