You may be feeling stuck in your past and struggling to create the future you want because you are still holding onto pain from the past. Have you ever stopped to think about what can happen in your life when you begin to focus on what you can control instead of trying to change what you can’t?

My phenomenal guest today has done just that, and he is here to share his story and encourage you to stop focusing on things you cannot change and to rather assign a positive meaning to events that have happened in your life.

Meet Nelson Tressler

Nelson Tressler is the Founder and CEO of IGotSmarter, and author of the unlucky sperm. He created a program created to support and motivate people to achieve their goals. early life was filled with trauma, struggle, and court trials.

But although his childhood was something that many of us couldn’t fathom going through, he was able to turn his life around in a positive way. He set goals, kept a positive mindset, and stayed accountable for his actions. He has developed the IGotSmarter App to help others do the same.

Visit his website and connect on FacebookLinkedIn, and Twitter.

In This Podcast


  • Get unstuck from your past
  • You are a product of your choices
  • Assign a positive meaning

Get unstuck from your past

Everyone has difficulties in their life, and everyone deals with things in different ways. However, if something terrible happens to you, either through life or by the misdeeds of another person, if you wait for them to change before you do, you will be waiting a long time.

“If I move forward, then they’re going to think [what they did] was okay, so I can’t” … you are going to be waiting for a very long time. As a matter of fact, you are literally handcuffed to your past and you will stay handcuffed to your past until you are willing to go ahead and do something different. (Veronica Cisneros)

If you stay connected to your past, your life will get stuck, and the only way to get unstuck is to take 100% responsibility for your successes – which also means taking responsibility for your failures. This is good to do because it means that you know that you belong to yourself and that your life is up to you.

You are a product of your choices

You are not a victim of your circumstances but you are a product of the choices that you have made and make every day.

You need to take 100% responsibility for your own success and you can’t control what’s going on in the world and you can’t control what’s going on in your relationships … but what you can control is what you can do. I believe it is utter insanity to worry about and focus on the things you can’t control. (Nelson Tressler)

When you turn your attention inwards and start focusing on what you can control and take action over, that is where you start to find your power. Similarly, when you hand over decisions about your life to other people, that is where you lose power.

Retain your power by taking control of your choices and actions: you cannot control the waves of the ocean but you can control how you set up your sails.

Assign a positive meaning

When you go through incredibly difficult periods in your life and come out the other side, what people often want to do is shut it off and push it far away from themselves because it represented a terrible time or immense pain.

Finding a positive meaning does not mean that you gloss over that pain, it means finding some value in what you experienced that you can take away into your life as a lesson to yourself or even as a lesson to others.

In this way, you also regain some power back from that situation and convert it into something that serves you instead of letting it be something that hurt you. By learning from it and putting it to rest, you are able to move forward and not get stuck.

One of the things I like to say when things are hard is “this isn’t happening to me, it’s happening for me” and I just have to find out what that is, why is it happening for me? … a lot of this is mindset. (Nelson Tressler)

Books mentioned in this episode:

Nelson Tressler – The Unlucky Sperm Club: You are Not a Victim of Your Circumstances but a Product of Your Choices

Useful links:

Meet Veronica Cisneros

Veronica Cisneros | Empowered And Unapologetic PodcastI’m a licensed therapist and women walk into my office every day stressed and disconnected. As a mom of three daughters, I want my girls to know who they are and feel confident about their future. I can’t think of a better way to help other women than by demonstrating an empowered and unapologetic life.

So I started  Empowered and Unapologetic to be a safe space for women to be vulnerable and change their lives for the better before she ever needs to see a therapist.

Whether you listen to the podcast, join the free Facebook communityjoin the VIP community, or attend our annual retreat,  you’re in the right place. Let’s do this together!

Thanks for listening!

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Empowered and Unapologetic is part of the Practice of the Practice Podcast Network, a network of podcasts seeking to help you thrive, imperfectly. To hear other podcasts like the Bomb Mom Podcast, Imperfect Thriving, or Beta Male Revolution, go to