Are you guilty of spinning waaaay too many plates but not providing yourself with the opportunity to experience any form of joy in your life till you’ve checked all the boxes? I know what that feels like!
Today I speak with Tracy LaLonde about how to tap into your true awareness so that you can make choices every day that sparks joy for you.
Meet Tracy LaLonde
Tracy LaLonde is an overachiever, business development coach, and professional speaker. After 20 years in the legal industry—a field with extreme rates of burnout—she witnessed her successful peers deal with high levels of anxiety, worry, and stress.
At the peak of her career, Tracy stepped away from her business to embark on her own Joy Journey. Tracy founded Joychiever to help other overachievers define their unique joy journey and apply their ambition to achieve a balanced, happy life.
In This Podcast
- Your driving value set
- Tracy’s process to release the illusion of control and embrace life
- Finding your joy
- Make the best part of your job the biggest part of your job
Your driving value set
I think perfection is a value that has a huge amount of benefit and overachievers take it to the extreme, and we all know that anything to the extreme is never good for us. It is a drive within us [from] our values and it’s [about] learning how to navigate that so that we don’t also burn ourselves out in the process. (Tracy LaLonde )
We all live our lives according to a set of values or principles that dictate where we stand in relation to ourselves, other people, and the things that happen around us.
When we value perfection or something done well, we can strive far in our endeavors and succeed. However, when this value is taken to the extreme, we run the risk of living for success, and living for the best of the best, instead of valuing simply being alive and living well.
Perfectionists tend to view themselves as people who do incredibly well, and so they punish themselves when the outcomes are not always staggeringly high. Unfortunately, this expectation can be placed upon people to become perfectionists by those around them, such as image-driven parents or harsh mentors, because they value doing things well rather than being a good person.
[It becomes] how others see us, and so when we try to be different or we try to change they get surprised or say “that’s not the way you do things” [but you can say] “well maybe it’s not the way I want to do things … and you need to let me have some room in order to figure out what that is and how that can be”. (Tracy LaLonde)
Tracy’s process to release the illusion of control and embrace life
The process is essentially about the refinement of your awareness.
Most people are unable to list their exact values … and also know what their personal definition of each of those values are, and why I think that’s critical [is because] they are the undercurrent by which we make all of our decisions. (Tracy LaLonde)
If you are someone who is struggling with releasing the illusion of control in life, you need to go and get clear on what specifically your values are, how you define them, and how you want to start incorporating them into your life.
These are not what you think your values should be, these are what your actual values are and it is important to be aware of this so that you can create and live a life that is true, and feels true, to yourself so that you can release the illusion of control over a life that does not resonate with you, and actually start freely living the one that does.
Finding your joy
1 – It is in how you perceive the world and what you choose to focus on:
2 – Getting clear on your joyous strengths (these are the things that you are good at and that bring you joy):
- Do these activities make you feel good after completing them?
- Do they make you feel energized?
- Do you feel inspired afterward?
Make the best part of your job the biggest part of your job
Conduct a time study of how you spend your time at work, whether your job is in an office or being a stay-at-home parent, both of these jobs are filled with things you like and do not like.
Complete a time study to see which aspects of your job bring you joy and which ones do not, and how long these each take you to finish. Go back, look at this study, and see if you can stop any patterns in how you spend your time with things you enjoy doing and things you do not.
Now, you need to have a difficult conversation, either with yourself or with your boss and communicate how you want to restructure your job so that you can keep working on the things that inspire you more than drain you.
It makes you so much more productive, it builds camaraderie in the team because you are able to communicate these needs. In a household, same thing. (Veronica Cisneros)
Books mentioned in this episode:
- The Unlucky Sperm: How to Take Responsibility For Your Life with Nelson Tressler | EU 67
- Take the Quiz: How Healthy Is Your Marriage?
- Sign up for the VIP membership
- Join Our Girl Gang
- Empowered And Unapologetic Free Course
Meet Veronica Cisneros
I’m a licensed therapist and women walk into my office every day stressed and disconnected. As a mom of three daughters, I want my girls to know who they are and feel confident about their future. I can’t think of a better way to help other women than by demonstrating an empowered and unapologetic life.
So I started Empowered and Unapologetic to be a safe space for women to be vulnerable and change their lives for the better before she ever needs to see a therapist.
Thanks for listening!
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Empowered and Unapologetic is part of the Practice of the Practice Podcast Network, a network of podcasts seeking to help you thrive, imperfectly. To hear other podcasts like the Bomb Mom Podcast, Imperfect Thriving, or Beta Male Revolution, go to practiceofthepractice.com/network.