You’ve had a long morning and you’ve just lost it. You yelled again, and now you’re feeling bad, like the absolute worst mom in the world. Why does it always get to this point and how can you stop this behavior? How can you parent to the best of your own abilities? What does it mean to “reset to one”?
Today I speak with Meg and Amy and about acknowledging the fact that we all yell, but that it doesn’t help that you feel guilty every time it happens, what we need is a solution to the yelling.
Meet Meg and Amy
“What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood” is a top ten Parenting podcast on Apple Podcasts with 3 million downloads to date. Its all-mom audience is a dedicated fan base that comes to “What Fresh Hell” for reassurance, advice, laughter, and community. Margaret Ables is a comedy writer and performer who was head of video for Nickelodeon’s “Nick Mom.” Amy Wilson is the author of WHEN DID I GET LIKE THIS? and is a comedian and actor who’s performed on Broadway and in dozens of TV shows and films.
In This Podcast
- Guess what, we’re all yelling too much
- You cannot listen to everyone
- Advice to overwhelmed moms
Guess what, we’re all yelling too much
We try to come at it from the point of view [which is] “what is the solution to yelling?” … we do all make mistakes, but I think that when we start from the point of view that “I’m making mistakes and therefore I’m bad at this job” probably not! Could you be doing it better? … but what we try to put in people’s path is … stopping with the worrying about where we are in the mom race and saying “hey, if we’re having a problem … are there ways to reset ourselves? (Meg Ables)
Mom’s spend hours comparing themselves to those around them, thinking that every other mom is doing it better than they are, or thinking that they are the only ones who have it tough. This is far from the truth.
When you are struggling with your children or your marriage and feeling low, try not to go down the path of comparison but keep your focus placed inward, and on what is happening, and try to understand how you can reset this to try it again.
This may mean going back, admitting your mistake, or opening up to have a difficult conversation but it is all necessary to help you and the people involved reset and iron out the issue, and discuss the solution instead of getting caught up in arguing.
You cannot listen to everyone
Everyone will have opinions about how you should raise your children, or run your family, but it is a trap. If you listen to what everyone says, you are doomed to fail because it is impossible to work with information from contradicting points.
You need to figure out for yourself and your partner what raising your children looks like, and what feels the most authentic to you.
This does not mean that you choose the path of least resistance all the time when it comes to parenting, but it means that you choose based on the life you would like, realistically, to provide your child and what feels most authentic to you and your partner.
Advice to overwhelmed moms
Find your way back to one … there’s an expression on a set “let’s go back to one” … everything goes back to its starting place and I think all of us know on an inherent level where our one is. (Meg Ables)
We each have our own spot where our ‘one’ is. For most people, it is a place between where we feel most comfortable and where we envision our future selves. When we reset to one, we are resetting “back” to stability and “forward” to who we want to be, our more developed, calm, and collected selves.
It doesn’t have to be all or nothing … I don’t have to call my friend Heather to catch up for an hour or not speak to her for nine months, I can send her a text. (Amy Wilson)
You do not have to be all or nothing in your life. Do what you can in the capacity that you have at the time because it is better than not doing anything.
Books mentioned in this episode
- The Overachievers Guide To Finding Joy In Life with Tracy LaLonde | EU 68
- Take the Quiz: How Healthy Is Your Marriage?
- Sign up for the VIP membership
- Join Our Girl Gang
- Empowered And Unapologetic Free Course
Meet Veronica Cisneros
I’m a licensed therapist and women walk into my office every day stressed and disconnected. As a mom of three daughters, I want my girls to know who they are and feel confident about their future. I can’t think of a better way to help other women than by demonstrating an empowered and unapologetic life.
So I started Empowered and Unapologetic to be a safe space for women to be vulnerable and change their lives for the better before she ever needs to see a therapist.
Thanks for listening!
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Empowered and Unapologetic is part of the Practice of the Practice Podcast Network, a network of podcasts seeking to help you thrive, imperfectly. To hear other podcasts like the Bomb Mom Podcast, Imperfect Thriving, or Beta Male Revolution, go to practiceofthepractice.com/network.