Do you put everyone else first before yourself? Are you stressed and disconnected on most days? Do you want to live a life that’s empowered and unapologetic?
In This Podcast
In this podcast episode, Veronica shares an introduction to her story and steps to become empowered as a woman, wife, and mother.
This used to be my life
So it’s 615am, we’re late! Really late. I wake up in a rush to get the kids up. My husband is still asleep as today’s his day off.
I’m running around like a madwoman trying to wake them all up. Making breakfast, prepping lunch, negotiating with the kids what they should wear and trying to get everything ready. I’m alone getting the kids ready, did I mention that? It’s an entire checklist that’s running through my head and I’m trying to get through it as quickly as possible. I run back downstairs, yelling at everyone, let’s go, let’s go!
Guess who meets me downstairs. My husband, who is showered, dressed and has his coffee in hand. Meanwhile, I look like the hired help, and I don’t even have a bra on!
I say to him, “It must be nice taking that shower and getting dressed.” He replied, “Why didn’t you wake me up, I would have helped?” Yes, sure! If you wanted to help then you would have helped!
Well, there goes the start of everyone’s day. It wasn’t a good one. But at no point did I stop and think, girl, put your bra on first.
I lived my life like this for so long because, well everyone else was doing it too. We’re slaves to the checklist and we don’t do anything about it. We shouldn’t have to do everything on our own and resent our families for it.
No woman should suffer silently, losing herself while trying to make a perfect life for her family.
But why didn’t I just let them do it? Well, because they wouldn’t do it the way I liked it or I’d have to redo it. So instead, for years I would do everything and anything for them, and they knew it. They had the luxury of doing nothing for themselves because they knew mom had their back.
Steps to becoming empowered
1. Identify what it’s costing you to do everything by yourself.
It costs us our time, compromises ourselves and puts everyone else above us. What are you teaching your kids and your husband by doing everything for them and nothing for yourself? How is it impacting your relationships?
Perhaps you’re stressed all day, and feel resentful when your husband gets to focus on himself. If you have everything on your plate, the others are just there to take it.
2. How does it benefit you? You’re in control!
Yes, feeling like you’re in control and knowing everything that is needed to be done is done – that’s a benefit. Checking off the checklist feels good because of the control it gives you. But it’s actually an illusion of control. It’s an unhealthy benefit. We try to keep everything in line, but in managing it all, we’re stressing ourselves out.
3. Ask for help
This can take some time, but I promise it works. It might not be done the way you like but it’s done and that’s the point. And even better, it will continue to get done without you asking if you simply no longer commit to it being your task.
It’s not our fault that you didn’t make yourself a priority!
Do the things you need to do first so that you can feel connected to your family and not be angry and resentful towards them. Take care of yourself first and ask for help. I would rather feel connected to my family in the morning and start everyone’s day in a good way instead of acting like a monster. Do you decide to put yourself last and blame everyone else for it? The minute you let go of the task is the minute you let go of the cycle.
Until next time, keep pushing forward.
Meet Veronica Cisneros
I’m a licensed therapist and women walk into my office every day stressed and disconnected. As a mom of three daughters, I want my girls to know who they are and feel confident about their future. I can’t think of a better way to help other women than by demonstrating an empowered and unapologetic life.
So I started Empowered and Unapologetic to be a safe space for women to be vulnerable and change their lives for the better before she ever needs to see a therapist.
Thanks for listening!
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Empowered and Unapologetic is part of the Practice of the Practice Podcast Network, a network of podcasts seeking to help you thrive, imperfectly. To hear other podcasts like the Bomb Mom Podcast, Imperfect Thriving, or Beta Male Revolution, go to practiceofthepractice.com/network.