Does COVID-19 have you feeling trapped and wanting to run away? How can you and your partner work together as a team? How can you change your reactions and communication?
In this podcast episode, Veronica speaks to her husband Willie Cisneros, to get a male perspective on marriage during COVID-19 and what you can do as a couple to work together as a team during this difficult time.
Meet Willie Cisneros
A few years ago Willie retired from the Marine Corps after 20 years of service. He’s been married for nearly 21 years and has 3 wonderful daughters. He has an MBA, which he was able to attain while still on active duty. As a result, he has been able to head the business operations of his and his wife’s private practice, Outside the Norm Counseling.
While it may seem like a fairytale, both Willie and Veronica were nearly a month and a half away from divorce, but through work, vulnerability, and perseverance, the two have built a strong marriage and many memories along the way.
In This Podcast
- Time out
- Open and honest communication
- Don’t fix!
- Zero expectations
- We’re on the same team
- Refrain from putting all of the blame on one person
- Willie’s perspective on why their marriage has lasted so long
- Living the life you want to live
- Advice for the stressed and disconnected mom
I don’t think we’re aware of how much stress we’re currently in and, in addition to that, how many things are triggering us.
Issues in relationships that we’ve been ignoring are beginning to surface, adding the stress of COVID-19 to an already stressful situation. We all need our alone time and we often push our agendas onto our partners. Change your perspective – reset and take time to work on yourself.
Open and honest communication
I appreciated how vulnerable you were with me.
- Try to figure this difficult time out together.
- Get stuff out there and try to see the other person’s perspective.
- Be vulnerable, communicate openly, and honestly with your partner.
Listen to hear vs listen to fix.
Your partner doesn’t want you to fix them, they want you to hear them. Trying to fix your partner can cause more problems than solutions. Be the shoulder to cry on, listen, let your partner get it off their chest. Don’t try to fix it. Opening up is not a sign of weakness, it is communicating in a mature way.
- Communication is key.
- Don’t expect your partner to know what you are thinking, they are not mind readers.
- Split responsibilities at home and openly communicate your thoughts.
- Communicate in a way that isn’t insulting and is mature.
- Be respectful of each other.
We’re on the same team
We get blinded by our emotions and look at our partner as the enemy when in reality we’re on the same team. Don’t take timeouts personally. Let go of some of the control, let your partner get a task done even if it’s not done your way, it might even be done better. If your partner needs some alone time, it’s not because they love you less, they just need a timeout.
Refrain from putting all of the blame on one person
Step back. Walk away. Give yourself time to process and let the emotions calm down. Check-in with your partner regularly.
Willie’s perspective on why their marriage has lasted so long
Despite our experiences, and despite the challenges or accomplishments, we haven’t changed who we are. Our circumstances and the things around us have changed but we’ve never lost sight of who we are.
The biggest thing is that they never lost their own identities. They still have fun.
Living the life you want to live
Continue to grow and learn in any way that you can because if you still have breath you still have the ability to learn.
Advice for the stressed and disconnected mom
Write down what’s making you feel stressed and disconnected. Talk about it. If nobody knows why you’re stressed and disconnected then nobody is going to understand how you’re feeling.
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Meet Veronica Cisneros
I’m a licensed therapist and women walk into my office every day stressed and disconnected. As a mom of three daughters, I want my girls to know who they are and feel confident about their future. I can’t think of a better way to help other women than by demonstrating an empowered and unapologetic life.
So I started Empowered and Unapologetic to be a safe space for women to be vulnerable and change their lives for the better before she ever needs to see a therapist.
Thanks for listening!
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Empowered and Unapologetic is part of the Practice of the Practice Podcast Network, a network of podcasts seeking to help you thrive, imperfectly. To hear other podcasts like the Bomb Mom Podcast, Imperfect Thriving, or Beta Male Revolution, go to practiceofthepractice.com/network.